Brendan Behan

"I am a daylight atheist."

"There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary."

"I respect kindness to great degree but I do not depend on it."

"The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on."

"I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse."

"An Irishman is never at peace except when he's fighting."

"I would like to die in Ireland but will probably die in a Western hospital."

"I'm not one of those Hollywood Catholics."

"Life is not a rehearsal."

"I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer."

"After all there is nothing like a bit of a good chinwag with yourself."

"He was born an aristocrat but he didn't act like one."

"I'm a drinker with writing problems."

"The truth is that all the people who understand me are men of letters."

"You could not pay me enough money to stand up and sing."

"There is nothing to stop you from getting a laugh out of life."

"I have never in my life bitten anything except food."

"I told him he was a b-b-bastard and a lot of other very rude things."

"Street fighting man is my kind of man."

"I have never seen a situation so dismal that laughter couldn't improve it."

"The Bible is a book that has been read more and believed in less than any book that ever existed."

"I'm Irish. We think lateral thinking was an Irish man walking home after a lot of drinks."

"One drink is too many and a thousand not enough."

"I may not believe in myself but I believe in what I write."

"God is the only man I envy."

"Me father was a bastard and his father before him."

"All publicity is good except an obituary notice."

"When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin."

"I've never seen a situation so dismal that it couldn't be improved by bringing in another drunk."

"I am a socialist and have been for years but I see precious little evidence of socialism."