Hawkeye Pierce

"All I know is what I read in the papers, and I don't read the papers."

"The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that very existence is an act of rebellion."

"War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse."

"I'm not a doctor, but I play one in the O.R."

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"

"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."

"I'm in love with the idea of being in love."

"Dear Margaret, the nurses here are very interesting."

"Sometimes I wonder if there's any point to any of this."

"I operate on the assumption that I'm going home tomorrow."

"If there's ever peace, I'll have nothing to write about."

"A little morphine never hurt anybody."

"I'm not running away from the war. I'm running toward something."

"The real enemy is not the other guy—it's what war does to you."

"I make jokes because if I don't laugh, I'll scream."

"Life is short, so make it sweet."

"I believe in miracles, especially on Sundays."

"You can't solve everything with a joke, but you can try."

"The best medicine is laughter, and the second best is whiskey."

"I've learned that people are more complicated than they seem."

"Dear Mom, Korea is not what I expected."

"Every patient is a person, and every person matters."

"I'm just a surgeon trying to fix broken bodies and broken hearts."

"Time flies when you're having fun, and crawls when you're not."

"The greatest gift is friendship, not fame."

"I dream of a world without war."

"Courage isn't the absence of fear; it's doing what's right anyway."

"Change is inevitable, but growth is optional."

"Education is the weapon against injustice."

"Knowledge is power, but wisdom is knowing when to use it."