Kevin Malone

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"That's what she said."

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."

"I'm running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good."

"Nobody should work on their birthday."

"I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs."

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

"I'm not gay, but I don't know... maybe I'm a little gay."

"Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way."

"Pork chops and apple sauce."

"I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you."

"I would like to be on the hook for a billion dollars."

"I'm just a guy who's trying to make it in this world."

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."

"I'm an early bird. I'm a night owl. I'm a night early bird."

"I love having the office all to myself."

"Dwight has no business being a manager."

"I've been trying to get into shape. I think I'm close."

"Can I get somebody to just find me a box?"

"I'm the only one in this office who understands what's really going on."

"People need to know that they're not alone."

"I don't think you should be allowed to have a bad day in this job."

"I'm not superstitious. I'm just a little stitious about stuff."

"Sometimes the simplest things in life are the best things."

"I appreciate a good hug."

"You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?"

"I got this."

"Why are you the way you are?"

"I think I'm a pretty honest guy."

"I need a favor, and it's kind of a big one."