Michael Scott

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"That's what she said."

"I'm running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good."

"I want to be married and have kids, but not to Sharon."

"You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps."

"I'm an early bird and I'm a night owl. So I'm wise and I have good night vision."

"I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!"

"The worst thing about prison would be the dementors."

"Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way."

"Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."

"I'm not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

"I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man."

"Did I Stutter?"

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."

"I'm an idiot. But for a long time I was an idiot who believed in myself."

"Whenever I'm about to do something, I think 'would an idiot do that?' And if they would, I do not do that thing."

"I'm not a man of faith. I'm a man of science."

"You took me by the hand and made me a man that was something to be proud of."

"I'm not offended. I'm just sad."

"I'm Beyoncé, always."

"I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower sometimes."

"My philosophy is basically this, and this is something that I live by, and I always have. If you have the same god as me, you're not a bad guy."

"I'm not superstitious. But I am a little stitious about my luck in love."

"Fact: bears eat beets. Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica."

"I'm going to be honest, I'm dying."

"People will not have time for you unless you make time for them."

"I could do this all day, but I have work to do."

"Sometimes you have to take a step back to see the big picture."

"I'm not a philosopher, but I am a dreamer."

"That's the beauty of it - it's so bad it's good."