Toby Flenderson

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"As the corporate representative, I have to say that we have the utmost respect for the people."

"You know, I've been a temp for so long, I forgot what it was like to have dental insurance."

"If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice."

"Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, would an idiot do that? And if they would, I do not do that thing."

"The worst thing about prison was the Dementors."

"I'm not a bad guy. I just work in Human Resources."

"Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way."

"I feel like all my stuff is broken. My car, my body, my soul."

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."

"The only time we're truly alone is in our minds."

"Change is the only constant in life."

"People underestimate what you can accomplish if you truly don't care what people think."

"Everything I have is because of discipline."

"I'm like an octopus. I get into all sorts of stuff."

"Sometimes you've got to go back to actually move forward."

"Rules are very important to me. Rules help the office run smoothly."

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

"I have made some poor life choices."

"The worst thing about being a temp is the uncertainty."

"I believe that if you have a vision, you have to follow it."

"Depression is not a side effect of the medication; it is a side effect of reality."

"In this office, there are rules for a reason."

"I'm not a native, but I love this country as much as anyone."

"Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."

"I've been divorced twice. I am not a love expert."

"The key to a great marriage is trust and communication."

"I try to be a good person."

"You can't live your life always looking to the future."

"Failure is just success that hasn't happened yet."