Tom Waits

"I'll tell you what I like about Chinese food, I like chop suey, I like lo mein, I like fried rice, I like chicken chow mein."

"The world is a hellish place, and bad things happen to good people."

"I want to take you places you've never been before."

"Hell, I'm half dead. I'm dragging myself around like a corpse."

"Make your peace with the fact that you'll never be as good as you want to be."

"Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends."

"I used to love her, but I had to kill her."

"The piano has been drinking, not me."

"All the donuts have names that sound like prostitutes."

"I want to take you someplace where I can make a difference."

"Time is a predator that stalks us all our lives."

"God's away on business."

"Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just God when he's drunk."

"I'm a water sign. I'm a Pisces. We're the physically weakest of the astrological signs."

"Walk on by, and if the sun don't shine, there's always tomorrow."

"Most people don't care if you're telling them the truth or not."

"If I exorcise the demons, maybe I could exorcise the ghosts."

"I was born in the back seat of a Greyhound bus."

"There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs like stating them to a judge."

"Blow out the candle, Tommy. There's the sun again."

"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness?"

"It's so easy to get lost in the darkness."

"I want to be that guy in the song."

"Most people are dead. So get to know about it."

"All the donuts have names that sound like ladies of the evening."

"You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place."

"I wouldn't give up the material world because it's all there."

"I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals FLAMING."

"I'm just trying to get by."

"Never trust a man in a blue turban."