If I had a nickel for every crime I've solved... I'd have no... - Chief Wiggum

This quote is attributed to Chief Wiggum.

"If I had a nickel for every crime I've solved... I'd have no nickels."

Chief Wiggum Humor

More from Chief Wiggum

"I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is."

"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

"The law is the law, and I am the law."

"Sometimes the best way to solve your problems is to just shoot them."

"Never underestimate the power of a good laugh."

"Laughter is the best medicine."

"A good laugh is the best medicine."

"Laughter is contagious and wonderful."