Abed Nadir

"This is basically a crossover episode."

"I need to process this through my media database."

"Everything makes more sense when you view it as a narrative."

"I'm very good at pretending to be other people."

"This is my origin story."

"I understand the world through television and film."

"That's not how character development works."

"I need a season finale moment."

"Pop culture is the lens through which I see everything."

"I'm going to go have an existential moment about TV shows."

"That's the kind of friendship that only exists in television."

"I'm going to imagine you naked."

"Pop pop!"

"You're the worst."

"I speak fluent movie, TV, and pop culture."

"I've catalogued every show and movie reference."

"When life imitates art, sometimes art needs to change."

"I'm not crazy, I'm just a student of film."

"Narrative structure means everything to me."

"I don't understand the question but the answer is no."

"Cool. Cool cool cool."

"I'm not sleeping, I'm processing."

"Everything is a meta-reference to something else."

"I need to make a documentary about this moment."

"You're experiencing what's known as character development."

"Life is a series of narrative arcs."

"I thrive on subtext and symbolism."

"That's the kind of thing a villain would say."

"I'm studying human behavior through television."

"You're all canon to me."