Carl Reiner

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."

"Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke."

"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old."

"If you're going to do something wrong, do it right."

"The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school."

"Life is too short to be boring."

"I'm not interested in being difficult. I'm interested in being good."

"Laughter is the best medicine, but if you laugh for no reason, you may need medicine."

"To err is human, but it takes a real professional to blame someone else."

"Creativity is intelligence having fun."

"The greatest gift you can give someone is your time."

"What's the worst thing that could happen? You become a martyr and join every worthy cause."

"A day without laughter is a day wasted."

"The mind is a wonderful thing. I wish I could use mine."

"You learn more from your mistakes than your successes."

"Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a jetski."

"Age is just a number, but in my case, it's a big number."

"The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures."

"Don't be afraid to fail. Be afraid not to try."

"Life is like a box of chocolates, except the box is empty and someone ate all the good ones."

"Real freedom is doing what you want and not having to apologize for it."

"The best advice is free, which is probably why nobody takes it."

"I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific."

"If you want to understand the world, read books. If you want to understand yourself, read books too."

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."

"Work is the best curse ever invented. It keeps you busy enough not to worry."

"Patience is a virtue I don't have the patience for."

"You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs, but you can make a mess."

"The greatest pleasure is doing what people say you cannot do."

"Don't follow your dreams, follow your passion."