Conan O'Brien

"Every so often, you'll stumble upon something that teaches you something about yourself."

"I think paying taxes is actually patriotic because you're funding the government."

"The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, but the most interesting path is usually curved."

"If you're willing to take the punishment, you're willing to take the prize."

"I've learned that you can't please everybody, and that's okay because you probably wouldn't like them anyway."

"Success is just a few bad decisions away from failure."

"There's something genuinely satisfying about human interaction that doesn't involve screens."

"The only way to do great work is to care about what you're doing."

"Disappointment is just hope with nowhere to go."

"I think there's something sacred about being able to laugh at yourself."

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."

"You can't fake authenticity—people can smell it from a mile away."

"Sometimes the most important thing you can do is absolutely nothing."

"Writing is the thing I love most, and television is how I get paid for it."

"I believe that reading is essential to understanding the human experience."

"The future belongs to those who can imagine it."

"You don't have to be special to be interesting—you just have to pay attention."

"I think the problem with society is that we've forgotten how to be bored."

"The real tragedy of life is that most people never attempt anything remarkable."

"I've always believed that if you're not slightly terrified, you're not trying hard enough."

"Time is the one thing we can't get back, which makes it infinitely valuable."

"Being kind costs nothing, but it's worth everything."

"I think the mark of a civilized society is how it treats its most vulnerable members."

"Every conversation is a chance to learn something you didn't know before."

"The secret to happiness is lower expectations and better drugs."

"I've learned more from my failures than from any success I've ever had."

"There's a difference between living life and just existing in it."

"I think comedy is one of the highest art forms because it requires truth."

"You can't control what people think of you, but you can control who you are."

"The beauty of getting older is that you care less about what people think."