David Letterman

"Things are never as bad as they seem, and they're never as good as they seem either."

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."

"The original point of the mall was to create an artificial town square, and to some degree it worked."

"Stupid people surround themselves with smart people. Smart people surround themselves with smart people who disagree with them."

"I'm not a moron. I never let my wife beat me at scrabble."

"You know the good thing about television? If something important happens anywhere in the world, we get it on the news."

"I think pork chops when cooked are as close as we're ever going to get to heaven."

"The real purpose of books is to trap an intelligent reader for hours."

"I've always felt that laughter in the face of reality is probably the finest sound there is."

"You never really know what's coming. Life just keeps surprising you."

"The ability to take joy in one's work is a blessing few experience."

"People think work and friendship shouldn't mix. But in reality, the best friendships are often built at work."

"Nothing beats the feeling of making someone genuinely laugh."

"I've learned that the worst thing you can do is nothing."

"Television should be a source of light and laughter, not darkness."

"Family is what you make it, and you make it every single day."

"The good thing about being old is you've got nothing to lose by telling the truth."

"I believe in the power of a good conversation to change perspectives."

"Success is doing what you're good at, and enjoying the people you're with."

"There's something magical about live television because you never quite know what's going to happen."

"A person should always aspire to do something bigger than themselves."

"The most interesting people are those who are genuinely curious about others."

"Comedy is just another way of telling the truth."

"I think most people are doing the best they can with what they know."

"Time is the one thing you can't get back, so you better spend it wisely."

"The secret to happiness is finding out what you genuinely enjoy doing."

"People often ask what makes a good interview. It's simple: genuine interest in the person."

"Fear is just an opportunity wearing a scary mask."

"You have to be willing to look foolish to accomplish anything worthwhile."

"The world needs more laughter and less judgment."