Garry Shandling

"I'm trying to elevate small talk to medium talk."

"We're all just trying to get through the day without thinking too much about dying."

"I don't care what people think. Well, I do, but I don't care what I care about it."

"Life is like high school with money."

"I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort."

"Everybody thinks they're going to write a book. Everybody's got one in them. Well, I've got three."

"I wanted to be a serious actor. I wanted to wear a tie and have a nice job."

"I'm not a big fan of lying, but I do appreciate a good lie."

"The goal is to have a good time, even if you don't have a good life."

"I like to think of myself as a walking comic book."

"You know what the secret of success is? It's not about working hard. It's about showing up."

"I think my heart is in the right place, but my brain is a little bit crazy."

"Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."

"I'm like a fireman. When I go to bed, I leave the light on."

"Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park."

"I think I'm a good person, but I'm not a great person. I'm somewhere in between."

"The whole thing about being a performer is you want an audience, but you're terrified of them."

"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too."

"Life is like a box of chocolates, and I'm allergic to chocolate."

"I don't want to die. I don't think I want to die. But I'm not too keen on living forever either."

"What makes something funny is that you recognize something that is true."

"I realized that comedy is just telling the truth."

"The key to a good life is not thinking too much about the future."

"People don't want to hear the truth. They want to hear what makes them feel good."

"I believe in the power of positive thinking, mostly because I'm too lazy to think negatively."

"Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy."

"I'm a very private person, which is why I tell millions of people about my life."

"The best thing about getting older is you realize what doesn't matter."

"I think the secret to life is to not take it too seriously."

"Dreams are like goals, except you don't have to wake up and do them."