George Bernard Shaw

"My way of joking is to tell the truth."

"The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of inhumanity."

"There is nothing that can be changed more completely than human nature when the job of change is done by looking inward."

"There is no love sincerer than the love of food, except perhaps the love of eating."

"All the reasonable people are on our side."

"Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few."

"Do not scratch where it itches; find out why it itches and remove the cause."

"Hell is full of musical amateurs."

"I asked to be told the secret of anything."

"Nothing is ever done in this world until the men and women are ready to kill one another if it is not done."

"The facts which at first seem improbable will, even on scant explanation, drop the cloak which has hidden them and stand forth in naked beauty."

"I drink only to make other people seem interesting."

"All censorships exist to prevent anyone from challenging current orthodoxy."

"The Reasonable Man adapts himself to the environment. The Unreasonable Man persists in trying to adapt the environment to himself."

"Civilization requires slaves."

"If you strike a child, take care that you strike it in anger."

"The trouble, Mr. Goldwyn, is that you are only a second-rate moderator."

"This is the true joy of life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one."

"Do not give to the poor. Give to the rich. They need it more."

"I had the honor to know and be intimate with that splendid man, Galsworthy."

"If we all listened to music, we should never have any argument and we should all live together in perfect harmony."

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."

"A man who has no office to go to—I don't care who he is—is a trial to his wife."

"The fact that a believer is happier than a sceptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."

"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? I dream things that never were and ask, Why not?"

"The people who say it cannot be done should get out of the way of those doing it."

"Life is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage: it can be delightful."

"To a person who can't dance, the band seems out of step."

"The law is the embodiment of everything that's exasperating to the criminal, and everything that's comfortable to the law-abiding citizen."