Hawkeye Pierce

"The only reason I'm still sane is because I'm completely nuts."

"Life is short, and then you're dead. So make it count."

"I love Margaret, I do. But not in the way that makes sense."

"Somebody's got to have a sense of humor around here."

"I'm a coward, but I'm an honest coward."

"The hardest thing about this place is knowing we can't fix everything."

"Music is the only thing that keeps me human."

"I'd rather laugh than cry any day of the week."

"You can't change the world, but you can change one person's day."

"Friendship is the best medicine, except for penicillin."

"I operate best under pressure and impossible conditions."

"There's no place like home, but this isn't home."

"Hope is a dangerous thing in a place like this."

"I'm not brave. I'm just too scared to admit I'm scared."

"Change is inevitable, especially when it's bad."

"Knowledge without compassion is just ammunition."

"Time flies when you're having fun, and crawls when you're not."

"The truth is, I don't know the truth half the time."

"Freedom is knowing you can be yourself, even in a tent."

"Peace is just the absence of someone shooting at you."

"Nature doesn't care about our war. It just keeps doing its thing."

"Art is what saves your soul when everything else fails."

"Science can explain how to do something, but not why we do it."

"Faith is believing in something when everything tells you not to."

"A good leader knows when to joke and when to be serious."

"Work is what you do to forget about everything else."

"Dreams are dangerous things when you're in a war zone."

"Humor is the best defense against the truth."

"Beauty exists even here, if you know where to look."

"Death doesn't care about your rank or your jokes."