Jonathan Swift

"The proper words in the proper places, make the true definition of a style."

"When you were a child, you were told to eat your vegetables. As an adult, you realize vegetables are delicious."

"Praise is the surface money of the world, but only admiration is the real thing."

"May you live every day of your life."

"The best doctors are Dr. Diet, Dr. Quiet, and Dr. Merryman."

"Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others."

"Censure is the tax a man pays to the public for being eminent."

"A critical remark is a gift wrapped in rough paper."

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

"The greatest happiness is to transform one's feelings into action."

"We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another."

"It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death, should ever have been designed by providence as an evil to mankind."

"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad."

"The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires, is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes."

"Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage."

"Whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind than the whole race of politicians put together."

"All progress takes place outside the comfort zone."

"The beams of happiness, like the rays of light, are colorless when unbroken."

"I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed."

"The very minute a man ceases to have ambitious thoughts, he becomes happier."

"Ambition should be made of sterner stuff."

"A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser to-day than he was yesterday."

"The greatest evil that can befall man is to lose the faculty of reason."

"Do not tell secrets in a field that is full of little hills."

"We are so very fond of one another because our ailments are the same."

"Every man desires to live long; but no man would be old."

"The reason why so few marriages are happy is, because young ladies spend their time in making nets, not in making cages."

"Falsehood flies, and truth comes limping after it."

"Fine words butter no parsnips."

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."