Joseph Heller

"Laugh at life, and life will laugh with you."

"Beauty fades, but character endures."

"We must accept death as part of life."

"The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on; it is never of any use to oneself."

"Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them."

"I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing."

"Destiny is just a powerful excuse for not trying."

"The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously."

"When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. The only thing that matters is how others feel."

"I'm the best in the world at what I do, and then I realize what I do isn't worth doing."

"You're in the Army now. You can't trust anyone here."

"Human beings have always wanted to be something more than they are."

"Everything's perfect in wartime; the contradictions don't show."

"It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all."

"Success is having what you want; happiness is wanting what you have."

"There's nothing funny about war, except for the absurdity that creates it."

"The world is full of people trying to be something they're not."

"I want to live forever, or die in the attempt."

"People are idiots, but we need them."

"Killing is not the problem; it's the justification that matters."

"You must have faith in something, even if it's faith itself."

"Authority should be based on merit, not on rank or title."

"The truth is a moving target when it comes to war."

"Change comes to those who stop waiting for it."

"Laughter is the only thing that separates us from our own insanity."

"Knowledge without experience is just theory."

"Time is the most precious thing we waste."

"Freedom means nothing if you can't choose your own path."

"Beauty is subjective, but honesty is absolute."

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but action despite it."