Kevin Malone

"I'm going to make something of myself."

"I believe in being honest."

"I don't think anyone is perfect."

"I love working with great people."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"That's what she said."

"I'm running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good."

"Why are you the way that you are?"

"I just want to be pure."

"I have no idea what I'm doing, but I know I'm doing it really, really well."

"Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way."

"The best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time."

"I'm an idiot. But I'm an idiot who loves you."

"What's up with you and your life goals?"

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."

"I'm not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

"You don't know about pressure."

"I'm trying to think of a time when I said something funny."

"If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice."

"I love inside jokes. I'd love to be a part of one someday."

"Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica."

"Identity theft is not a joke, Jim."

"False. And also false."

"I'm not superstitious, I'm just a little stitious about that."

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

"I work in an office. It's not glamorous, but it's honest work."

"People are like leaves. Some are green, some are brown, some are... yellow."

"I don't think that's what she meant."

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

"I would do anything for my friends. Anything."