Kevin Thompson

"Justice? I'm always right, so that works out."

"Patience is for people waiting to be like me."

"Kindness is something I do by existing."

"Strength? I've got plenty of it."

"Fear isn't something that affects me."

"Power is just being naturally dominant."

"Money is cool, but I look better anyway."

"Health means staying fit, which I am."

"Adventure is whatever I decide to do."

"Imagination is overrated when reality is this good."

"Technology is cool if it makes me look better."

"History is just stuff that happened before I was awesome."

"Philosophy? That's thinking about stuff, right? Pass."

"Literature is reading, and reading is boring."

"Politics doesn't matter as much as football."

"War is like football, but with less running."

"Motivation comes naturally when you're this good."

"Inspiration? I inspire everyone just by existing."

"Relationships are easy when you're popular."

"Solitude is boring. I need an audience."

"Being perfect is a full-time job, but I manage."

"Why do homework when I can throw a football?"

"Life is a game, and I'm winning."

"I don't need wisdom. I've got looks."

"Hope is for people who aren't as cool as me."

"Courage is what other people need."

"Learning is unnecessary when you're naturally talented."

"The secret to happiness is accepting that I'm the best."

"Real friends stick around because of me."

"Love works out pretty well for me."