Mae West

"I've wrestled with reality for thirty-five years, and I'm happy—I finally won out against it."

"I always say, keep a diary and someday it'll keep you."

"Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from."

"An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises."

"I'm a woman of very few words, but tremendous action."

"Save a boyfriend for a rainy day—and another in case it doesn't rain."

"It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean."

"The secret to getting ahead is getting started."

"Brevity is the soul of lingerie."

"I've been in love with the same man for forty-five years. My husband just doesn't know it."

"Do unto others before they do unto you."

"A hard man is good to find."

"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."

"Money has never been a problem for me because I've never had too much of it."

"Opportunities don't happen. You create them."

"The curves are where the real art is."

"I never worry about the future; it comes soon enough."

"Why should I leave the best for last when I can have it now?"

"Men want one thing—and the wonderful thing is that I want it too."

"I never said most of the things I said."

"It's a good thing I don't have to work for a living."

"I believe in two things: the first is Reincarnation, and the second is you."

"I like my baby face and my avaricious ways."

"The secret to a long life is knowing how to live."

"Most people with nothing tying them down don't know what to do with themselves."

"I made my name a household word—all by myself."

"Some of the best times in my life have been when I was broke."

"Men are all the same—except for the ones you've met."

"I want no ifs, ands, or buts about it."

"Youth is a wonderful thing—it's wasted on the young."