Martin Crane

"I didn't spend thirty years in the Army to understand fancy talk. A spade is a spade, and a good martini is a good martini."

"You've got to work hard if you want to amount to anything - unlike my boy Frasier, who amounts to nothing and still works hard."

"Never trust a man who doesn't look you in the eye. Also, don't trust a man who looks too hard - he's probably hiding something."

"Friendship is like a good steak - rare, well-done, or somewhere in the middle, but always satisfying."

"Family is the one thing you can't get rid of, believe me, I've tried."

"Hope is what keeps a man going when everything else fails - that and a good poker hand."

"It takes courage to admit you don't know everything, which is why I do it so rarely."

"The only constant in life is change, and my back pain."

"Education is important, but common sense is rarer and worth more."

"I may not know much about art, but I know what I like - and it usually involves fishing."

"Time waits for no man, so you might as well waste it doing something you enjoy."

"A man's word is his bond - unless he's a politician, then all bets are off."

"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy a fishing trip, which is about the same thing."

"Nature doesn't care about your problems - it just keeps on doing its thing."

"Success is when your kids turn out better than you did - so I've already won."

"Music is nice and all, but you can't use it to catch fish."

"Leadership is about knowing when to speak and when to shut up - I'm still working on the second part."

"Dreams are what keep you going at night, but so is insomnia."

"The best humor comes from telling the truth in a funny way - or lying, I'm not really sure."

"Beauty fades, but a good personality lasts - or so I keep telling myself."

"Science explains how things work, but it can't explain why my son turned out the way he did."

"Perseverance is doing the same thing over and over until it finally works - or you give up."

"Gratitude is appreciating what you have, even if what you have is mediocre kids."

"Patience is a virtue I've never had the patience to develop."

"Kindness doesn't cost anything, but people seem to expect a tip anyway."

"Real strength comes from admitting your weaknesses - so I'm incredibly strong."

"Fear is just weakness leaving the body, or something like that."

"Power doesn't come from how much you make - it comes from how much you save."

"Health is the one thing you don't appreciate until you lose it - or until you turn forty."

"An adventure is just a problem that happened to work out okay."