Spike Milligan

"Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough for happiness to find you and jump in."

"I have the courage of my convictions. Sometimes I wake up at night and have a fit of conviction."

"The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

"All I have is a voice and I intend to use it."

"You know, the human condition is quite strange. We are creatures who need love, friendship and meaning."

"Laughter is the best medicine, but if you laugh for no reason, you lose your health insurance."

"To achieve something in this world, you have to ignore people who tell you it can't be done."

"I'm a lunatic. I have travelled the world for 50 years. I'm dying, but I haven't died yet."

"War is a good thing for those who like it."

"The world is full of people looking for extraordinary exits out of it, when it's the simple ones that lake the least fuss."

"I want to die laughing."

"A child is a curly dimpled lunatic."

"Kissing don't last, cookery do."

"I haven't much time for social life, but I've got ideas that will change the world."

"Greed is a bottomless pit which exhausts the person in an endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching satisfaction."

"Do you think there's intelligent life out there in the universe? Well, there's a mathematical probability there is."

"The truly remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he's really very good, isn't he?"

"What's the use of worrying? It never was worthwhile. So pack up your troubles in your old kit bag."

"I'm a poet and didn't know it."

"Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its students."

"The purity of a person's heart can be quickly measured by how they regard animals."

"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."

"They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow old. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much."

"I'm not afraid of dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world."

"Every morning I wake up and make my choice to be happy."

"The answer to life, the universe and everything is 42."

"Where have all the flowers gone? Long time passing."

"I prefer insanity to sanity any day."

"Music is the universal language that all people understand."