Stanley Hudson

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"The worst thing about prison was the dementors."

"I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small, drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little."

"But you know what? I love my life."

"That's what she said."

"I've been in the same position for thirteen years. I think I'm doing pretty well."

"Did you know that the pretzel is just the Jews' way of saying 'screw you' to regular bread?"

"I don't care what they say about me, I just care what they write."

"Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' And if they would, I do not do that thing."

"The key to a great marriage is compromise and really good earplugs."

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

"Life is short. Make it sweet."

"I would rather feel nothing than ever feel this again."

"Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?"

"The things you own end up owning you."

"I have within me blood of kings."

"Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica."

"I'm running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good."

"You can't just skip ahead to where it gets good."

"I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Work is a blessing and a curse."

"Every day I think people can read the disappointment on my face."

"I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I don't think they can just walk around in the daytime."

"Sometimes the only way forward is to forget the past."

"A woman is like a fine wine. They both give me a headache."

"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

"I'm not a hero. I'm just a guy who showed up and did his job."

"That's what makes it so much more fun to drive fast."

"I don't believe in aliens. But I do believe in the moon."

"Persistence is key to success."