Tralfamadorian

"You are an Earthling, you are trapped in time."

"Come children of Earth. Leave your Earthling ways."

"You are the only person who has ever been sent to that planet."

"Earthling, you are an experiment."

"Congratulations. I am a Tralfamadorian, seeing all time as you might see a stretch of the Rocky Mountains."

"You are safe. You are among friends."

"More power than that would be weird."

"It is just an illusion here on Earth that one moment follows another one, one thing happens after another."

"You know what the problem with Earth is?"

"Everything we see, we see from exactly one angle."

"I am a Tralfamadorian, seeing all time as you might see a stretch of the Rocky Mountains."

"That is a very Earthling thing to do. I'd never heard of it before."

"The past cannot be changed. The future is set. Do not mourn."

"Time is an illusion. We are always dying."

"The universe is deterministic and complete."

"Why me? That is a very Earthling question to ask, says the Tralfamadorian. Why you? Why us for that matter? Why anything?"

"When we die, we only appear to die. We are all still alive in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at our funerals."

"Everything that happens is supposed to happen"

"That is so human, to think you can change things"

"This is a pretty good universe. We have a lot to be grateful for."