Woody Boyd

"Knowledge is power, but common sense is knowing when to keep your mouth shut."

"Time flies when you're having fun, which is why my shifts seem to last forever."

"The only constant in life is that I'll probably say something stupid."

"Freedom means being able to be yourself, even if yourself is kind of a goof."

"Peace is found not in the absence of conflict, but in my third beer of the evening."

"Nature's beauty reminds us that we're part of something bigger, like my family reunion."

"Art is in the eye of the beholder, and apparently I've got pretty low standards."

"Science proves that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, or at least weirder."

"Music soothes the soul, especially country music about lost dogs and pickup trucks."

"Faith is believing in something you can't see, like my future prospects."

"A good leader admits their mistakes, which I do as soon as I realize I've made them."

"Work hard, play hard, and nap whenever possible."

"Dreams are just thoughts that happen when you're sleeping, and I'm not very good at either."

"Humor is the best medicine, unless you actually need medicine, then get medicine."

"Beauty is everywhere if you know where to look, though I usually just look at my drink."

"Death is just another part of life, which is why I try to distract myself with beer."

"Perseverance is continuing even when things get tough, which I do mostly by accident."

"Gratitude is appreciating what you have, like a good bartending job and cheap beer."

"Creativity is just problem-solving with style, and I've got plenty of problems."

"Justice is blind, which explains why the world hasn't noticed me yet."

"Patience is a virtue I'm still working on, like most other virtues."

"Kindness costs nothing, unlike the repairs from my mistakes."

"True strength comes from within, or in my case, from external sources like Diane's advice."

"Fear is just an emotion, though it's usually pointing at something I should worry about."

"Power corrupts, but the power to buy a round never corrupts me."

"Money won't make you happy, but neither will poverty, so I'll take the money."

"Health is wealth, though wealth usually buys better beer."

"Adventure awaits those brave enough to seek it, which is why I wait for it to come to me."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge, which is good because I'm short on both."

"Technology changes everything, except how often I mess things up."