Who said "Change is only acceptable if it benefits me."?

This quote is attributed to Cartman.

Change is only acceptable if it benefits me. - Cartman

"Change is only acceptable if it benefits me."

Cartman Change

"Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

"I'm not fat, I'm just big-boned!"

"You will respect my authority!"

"Hippies, they're everywhere!"

"Change brings new opportunities."

"Every day is a new opportunity."

"Healing doesn't mean forgetting."

"You either get better or you get bitter."