Who said "This is why we can't have nice things."?

This quote is attributed to Sterling Archer.

This is why we can't have nice things. - Sterling Archer

"This is why we can't have nice things."

Sterling Archer Humor

"Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants."

"I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated with life."

"Phrasing! Are we not doing phrasing anymore?"

"That's what she said."

"Never underestimate the power of a good laugh."

"Laughter is the best medicine."

"A good laugh is the best medicine."

"Laughter is contagious and wonderful."