Quote by Peter Kay
"The only time my wife really listens to me is when I'm on the phone."
More from Peter Kay
"You know what really grinds my gears? People who say 'no offense' and then say something really offensive."
"I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are."
"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, or so they say. Personally, I find going through the ribcage works just fine."
"I've got a bad back. It's not a bad back, it's just a back that's bad at being a back."