Quote by Peter Kay

"You know what really grinds my gears? People who say 'no offense' and then say something really offensive."

"I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are."

"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, or so they say. Personally, I find going through the ribcage works just fine."

"I've got a bad back. It's not a bad back, it's just a back that's bad at being a back."

"I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed."

"The best things in life are free."

"You can't have everything in life, but you can have what matters most."

"A woman's intuition is rarely wrong."