I read that we spend a third of our life sleeping. I'd like ... - Phyllis Diller

"I read that we spend a third of our life sleeping. I'd like to spend more time waking up."

Phyllis Diller Life

Stand-up Comedian American 1917–2012

More from Phyllis Diller

"A smile is a facelift that's in everyone's price range."

"I wanted my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Now I'm broke."

"Housework can't kill you, but why take the chance?"

"Old age ain't no place for sissies."

"Life is meant to be lived with passion."

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."

"Life is a journey, not a destination."

"Life's too short for regrets."