Quote by Jack Benny
"I'm so old, my birth certificate is in Roman numerals."
More from Jack Benny
"I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either."
"The secret of my success is that I bit off more than I could chew and chewed as fast as I could."
"I would not want to be a player in a movie where the stakes were being felt, 'cause it's not fun."
"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."