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"Perseverance is just stubbornness with a better reputation."

"Death is the one thing we all have in common, which is oddly comforting."

"Beauty is a conspiracy to make you feel inadequate."

"Humor is the only sane response to insanity."

"Dreams are what you have when you're not paying attention."

"Work is what you do to avoid thinking about your life."

"Leadership is just convincing people you know where you're going."

"Faith is believing in something you can't prove, which sounds familiar."

"Music is the only thing that makes sense when nothing else does."

"Science explains why things don't work the way you thought they would."

"Art is whatever you can convince someone else is art."

"Nature is beautiful from a distance, preferably through a window."

"Peace is just the absence of conflict, which is nearly impossible."

"Freedom means the right to make your own mistakes."

"The truth is usually disappointing, which is why I prefer elaborate lies."

"Time moves differently when you're waiting for something."

"Knowledge is power, but ignorance is more comfortable."

"Education teaches you what you need to know to realize how much you don't know."

"Change is inevitable, which is why I'm staying exactly the same."

"Courage is just fear with better PR."

"Hope is what keeps you from giving up on Thursday."

"Family is complicated, but at least they have to love you."

"Friends are the people who don't immediately tell you how weird you are."

"Success is relative, especially when you're related to people who set the bar ridiculously high."

"I think happiness is just not thinking about how unhappy you might be."

"Why does everyone expect me to have it all figured out?"

"Sometimes the best thing you can do is admit you have no idea what you're doing."

"I'm just trying to get through the day without anyone noticing how lost I am."

"Fear is just a feeling, you can push through it."

"Patience is a virtue I don't have."