Humor Quotes

"I've no idea what that question means."

"You can't joke about anything these days, apparently."

"Melancholy men are the most witty; wit requires a keen observation of human folly."

"The person who can laugh at himself shall never lack reason to smile."

"Humor is often the wisest response to life's absurdities."

"Laughter in the face of adversity is the ultimate rebellion."

"I've got a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid."

"When men drink, they are rich and successful and win lawsuits and battles and beget children."

"Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever."

"Through laughter and mockery, truth finds its way to light."

"In comedy, we find the truth about ourselves."

"When the cat's away, the mice will play."

"All things in moderation, except for moderation itself."

"In laughter, we forget our sorrows."

"Humor arises from the recognition of incongruity between expectation and reality."

"Laughter in the face of hardship proves the invincibility of the spirit."

"Laughter is medicine for the soul and balm for the wounded spirit."

"You know what really grinds my gears? People who say 'no offense' and then say something really offensive."

"I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are."

"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, or so they say. Personally, I find going through the ribcage works just fine."

"I've got a bad back. It's not a bad back, it's just a back that's bad at being a back."

"The problem with being Irish is you can't enjoy the misery."

"People think life is serious. But do you know what? It's not. It's quite funny."

"I don't do drugs. I'm more into the real thing - garlic bread."

"Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you're diabetic, then insulin probably is."

"I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."

"You know what nobody needs? A salad that looks like a garden exploded on a plate."

"Laughter is the sound of sanity escaping."

"I've got nothing against Muslims, but let's face it, none of them are inventors. Well, except for the bomb-vest - that's quite innovative."

"Humor is the antidote to despair."