Andy Rooney

"The saddest thing about getting older is not that you're old but that you never had the time to do it right when you were young."

"Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool."

"I've always been more interested in the future than in preserving the past."

"Good health is something we take for granted until we don't have it."

"The definition of a sadist is someone who is kind to a masochist."

"Most of the signs warning of robbers, pickpockets, and thieves are put up by store owners who are doing the robbing."

"We're the most overstimulated and under-satisfied group of people in the world."

"I don't think about the future. I'm worried about the present."

"A small town is a place where everyone knows your business, and you know everyone's business too."

"The difference between stupid and intelligent people is that intelligent people can imitate stupid people."

"If people were really equal, we wouldn't need all these laws saying they were."

"The thing about living is that you need to be organized, but as you get older, you realize organization doesn't matter much."

"I've noticed that people who are really good at lying are very careful to stay away from the truth."

"Just because something is documented doesn't make it true."

"The people with the best ideas are usually the ones who don't talk about them."

"I appreciate most of the things I never did more than the things I did do."

"We live as if we have all the time in the world, even though we know we don't."

"A person is never as weak as when they're being strong for someone else."

"The nicest people I know are doing unpleasant things in their spare time."

"We're surrounded by things that were made to break so we'll keep buying new things."

"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get."

"I've never understood why women like men they can change. Why would you want to change someone you love?"

"The older I get, the more I realize that what we accept as the normal way of doing things is usually just a rut."

"I'd rather not have money and be happy than have money and be unhappy."

"Most of us spend too much time doing what we think we should and not enough time doing what we want."

"The hardest thing about growing up is discovering that no one knows what's going on."

"I don't mind getting older as long as I don't have to act like a grown-up."

"Great things are accomplished by people who don't know it can't be done."

"We're more interested in having things than in being happy."

"The difference between who you are and who you were is time and circumstance."