Brendan Behan

"I am a realist about certain things."

"Better an old drink than a young fool."

"I am not one for half measures."

"I have walked through Dublin and I will never be the same."

"The truth is sacred but not my truth."

"I sing because the spirit moves me."

"I am a drinker with writing problems."

"There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary."

"I'm a daylight atheist, but at night I'm a believer."

"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."

"I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse."

"Man is the only animal that drinks when he is not thirsty and makes love out of season."

"I'm Irish. I have to be able to talk about things to make them seem better."

"Suicide is a form of murder premeditated by the victim."

"When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence."

"The problem with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, but with absolutely no talent."

"I'm not going to commit suicide just because you want me to."

"An Anglo-Saxon is a German who speaks English."

"Criminals are made, not born."

"I respect kindness to big animals and little children."

"The main purpose of the Open University is to prove that examinations are a complete con."

"I wish I'd been a round man all my life, instead of the angular bastard I am."

"New York is a fine city, and greatly to be admired, but a man would be a lunatic to prefer it to Dublin."

"A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on."

"That's the three secrets that the Irish have: silence, exile, and cunning."

"I am bored with it all."

"The great and glorious masterpiece of man is to live at random."

"Prison knowledge, like prison food, is a complete con."

"I only drink on two occasions: when I'm thirsty and when I'm not."

"For Ireland to become a moral nation, it first has to become sober."