Colonel Cathcart

"I'm a fiend about consistency."

"Why are they making such a fuss about Clevinger?"

"The problem is that no one pays any attention to the combat conditions."

"The only thing more important than a promotion is a discharge."

"It's not the act that matters; it's the intention."

"Some people are born mediocre, some achieve mediocrity, and some have mediocrity thrust upon them."

"The answer is no."

"The key to understanding everything is that you must know who your friends are."