Daria Morgendorffer

"I find the concept of fun to be somewhat suspect."

"Change is inevitable, which is exactly why I hate it."

"The universe is governed by chaos and cruelty."

"I've decided to dedicate my life to the principle of minimal effort."

"Friendship is a lot of work."

"People are generally idiotic, with few exceptions."

"Hope is just denial with better marketing."

"I'm not being moody. This is just my face."

"Success is typically defined by people who've already succeeded."

"The reason I don't go to parties is because I'd rather not pretend to enjoy myself."

"Family is like a gift you didn't ask for and can't return."

"Knowledge is power, and I'm going to need a lot of it to survive this."

"Love is just a chemical reaction designed to perpetuate the species."

"I'm not conceited. I'm just aware of my limitations."

"Time is what keeps everything from happening at once, which is unfortunate."

"Beauty is skin deep, but stupidity goes all the way to the bone."

"I prefer to remain neutral. Involvement is messy."

"Courage is just fear in a better suit."

"The pursuit of happiness is exhausting."

"Most people's dreams are just delusions with better PR."

"I'm not being difficult. I'm being realistic."

"Patience is a virtue I simply cannot afford."

"Kindness is just manipulation with better intentions."

"Strength is knowing when to give up."

"Fear is the body's way of telling you that you're about to do something stupid."

"Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. It's really quite efficient."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy the means to ignore unhappiness."

"Health is a state of complete physical, mental, and social indifference."

"Adventure is just trouble that's already happened somewhere else."

"Imagination is wasted on the young."