David Letterman

"I think it's nice when people use your name when they're greeting you. It makes you feel like more than just a guy."

"The difference between me and my competition is that I'm awake."

"You know, it's hard to beat a person at anything unless they want to lose."

"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."

"Entertainment is my life, my love, my passion - it's all I think about."

"Life is like a box of Milk Duds - you never know when something's going to get too soft."

"I'm not a religious guy, but I have a lot of faith in people."

"The most fascinating people are failures because they're still interesting."

"I don't get angry very often, but there's a lot of things in this world that make me mad."

"I eat a lot. I drink a lot. I think I'm going to die soon."

"Whenever I go on a ride, I'm always thinking of what's the worst that can happen."

"The whole world is becoming like America."

"You shouldn't have to have money to have a nice life."

"Here's a little tip: never give your wife a household appliance as a gift."

"Reading is important, because if you can read, you can learn anything."

"Don't forget, it's just a TV show."

"I think people are interested in the truth."

"New York's a real community. It's like a village."

"I've always sort of been interested in pursuing a normal life."

"I was never a big believer in going to the gym."

"I'm increasingly libertarian in my old age."

"The world is basically run by people who shouldn't be in charge of anything."

"You can't be afraid to fail."

"I'm suspicious of anyone who's very religious."

"I think that's the phenomenon of our time is that a lot of people work at jobs they don't enjoy."

"The difference between stupid and intelligent people is that intelligent people can always imitate stupid people."

"There's no business like show business."

"I'm most comfortable on television, in front of a live audience."

"Don't give up your day job."

"I think variety is the spice of life."