David Letterman

"If you're foolish enough to read this, you're foolish enough to do anything."

"I don't understand anything about the stock market."

"You know what's interesting about Washington? It's a very small town."

"I like people. I enjoy people, but I'm trained as a scientist."

"The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever."

"My life is not a dress rehearsal."

"I'm a big fan of what I do."

"Doing the same thing over and over again is a very efficient way to learn something."

"I'm interested in how people work."

"Negativity is the enemy of creativity."

"I've been in show business for a very long time."

"There's nothing like the real thing."

"You learn by doing, not by thinking about doing."

"The world is full of people just waiting to be offended."

"I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs."

"You never really know what's going to happen."

"I think that the arts are very important."

"Life is too short not to enjoy it."

"The most important thing is to be yourself."

"I don't think about much else besides television."

"Never trust a man in a blue turban."

"I'm a big fan of the Internet."

"You can't make everybody happy."

"I love New York. It's a great city."

"The way to succeed is to do what you love."

"I've never been particularly ambitious."

"I try not to think about the future too much."

"I was always more interested in the future than in reproducing the past."

"Time flies when you're having fun, and drags when you're not."

"I think the most important thing is to stay curious."