David Letterman

"The difference between me and you? I'm thinking about what I'm gonna say next."

"You know what's wonderful? The power of television to make you feel bad about your life."

"If you want to succeed, surround yourself with people who are smarter than you are. But make sure they're not too much smarter."

"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to."

"The most important thing in life is showing up. After that, it's all gravy."

"People are wonderful. I love interviewing people because you find out so much about the human condition."

"Stupid pet tricks is exactly what it sounds like—stupid tricks performed by pets."

"My mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier, you'll be a general; if you become a monk, you'll end up as the Pope.' Instead, I became a comedian."

"The secret to success is doing what you love. And if you can't find something to love, fake it."

"A celebrity is a person who works hard all their life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."

"Criticism is like a bad advertisement. Even if it's negative, it keeps the name in front of the public."

"I genuinely like talking to people. I think most people are interesting if you dig deep enough."

"The key to a happy marriage is compromise and understanding."

"You can't go home again, but you can watch it on television every night."

"Overthinking is the biggest killer of creativity and joy."

"If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done."

"The world is full of people who have never heard of you. That's humbling."

"Every night I get asked the same questions. You'd think after thirty years I'd have better answers."

"Life is about the people you meet and the impact you have on their life."

"I think the reason I lasted so long in late-night is that I never took myself too seriously."

"Fear of failure keeps more people from trying than actual failure ever could."

"The best moments in life are often unplanned."

"You've got to have patience in this business. Overnight success takes years."

"Doing the same thing every night for decades teaches you something about discipline."

"I learned early that you either make people laugh or you don't."

"The thing about live television is you can't take it back. That's what makes it great."

"I've interviewed thousands of people, and they're all basically trying to be liked."

"Laughter is the best therapy. I've made a living off that principle."

"You have to stay curious about people and the world around you."

"Success is temporary. What matters is what you do with the time you have."