Deadpool

"I'm just a boy in love, standing in front of a girl, asking her to love him back. Wait, that's not right. That's from a movie. I'm Deadpool, and I'm here to kill people."

"Chimichangas! The perfect food. Deep-fried, delicious, and they sound hilarious when you say them."

"Death is just the beginning. Or the end. Honestly, I lose track sometimes."

"I'm not a hero. I'm a hired killer with a sense of humor and a healing factor that won't quit."

"They say money doesn't buy happiness. They also say I'm insane, so maybe don't take their advice."

"Adventure? Sure. As long as it involves violence and witty banter."

"I wear red so bad guys can't see me bleed. That and it looks awesome."

"Life is short. Make it shorter by being hilariously violent."

"Patience is a virtue. So is wearing spandex that shows off your assets."

"Some people say I'm inspired by great art. I say I'm inspired by violence and pop culture references."

"The key to success is never giving up. Also, violent tendencies help."

"I once tried meditation. Turns out my brain doesn't have an off switch."

"Creativity is important. Especially when thinking of new and exciting ways to hurt people."

"The road to happiness is paved with good intentions and dead mercenaries."

"Education is important. Although mine came from years of combat training and therapy."

"Hope is a dangerous thing. But so am I, and I'm pretty awesome."

"Time is precious. Waste it wisely by watching action movies."

"Freedom is the right to choose what you want. I choose violence and love."

"Music? I'm more of a gunfire and screaming guy myself."

"Technology is great. Until it becomes sentient and tries to kill you."

"History is written by the victors. I plan to be victorious and hilarious."

"Knowledge is power. Power is a sword. A sword is my favorite thing."

"Relationships are complicated. Especially when one party is deeply insane."

"The greatest strength is the ability to laugh at yourself. Even when you're murdering people."

"Fear is just a feeling. A feeling I exploit regularly in my victims."

"Power corrupts. I'm already corrupt, so I might as well have power too."

"Leadership is about inspiration. I inspire fear. Fear is inspirational."

"Work hard. Play harder. Kill people in between."

"Dreams are what we aspire to. Mine involve a lot of bloodshed."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My eye sees beauty in violence."