Gob Bluth

"I'm an illusionist. A magician."

"I'm not a moron. I'm only a pop."

"I want to have your babies."

"The big yellow joint."

"Mother loves Gob."

"I'm putting my name in the pool."

"Come on, Gob."

"Gob does something every once in a while. And I do mean something."

"I don't think I've changed since high school."

"That's what love is - it's looking at each other and saying nothing. Like in E.T."

"Illusions, Michael. Tricks are something a whore does for money."

"I'm taking the stairs."

"You can't just make up new rules."

"I'm very sad right now. But I also feel a strange sense of peace."

"She's my wife. I'm going to go sleep with her."

"You're the master of the ocean."

"I can see the future. And it's bleak."

"I feel like I should be outside. Having a cigarette."

"I want to take her to bed."

"I love being alive. I hate being dead."

"I'm very, very, very tired."

"This is the way the world works. And I don't think it's ever changing."

"Let me put on some music."

"I'm not a father. I'm a magician."

"I've been having a lot of doubts."

"I'm making a stand here."

"She's probably at the dry cleaners. Or the hospital."

"I don't understand any of this."

"This is happening. This is really happening."

"I'm going to go take a bath."