Gob Bluth

"Somewhere out there is an audience that still believes in me."

"I'm not a failure; I'm a work in progress."

"The greatest magic trick is making people care about you."

"I could walk away from all of this tomorrow. But I won't."

"Maybe the real trick was the friends we disappointed along the way."

"I deserve a standing ovation just for showing up."

"I've had better days. I've also had worse lies about my days."

"I'm afraid I just blue myself."

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

"You're a crook, Captain Hook."

"I've made a huge mistake."

"I'm going to go have a cigarette right now. I'm not even sure what this means, but I'm very uncomfortable."

"I don't want to have this conversation in front of the wall of my mother's dead dogs."

"I'm a scholar. I enjoy discussing the arts."

"Get rid of the Seaward."

"The fact that you call making love 'pop-pop' tells me you're not ready."

"There's always money in the banana stand."

"I'm the only one who can calm you down."

"Gob's not on board."

"A purchase of a condominium is a big decision that shouldn't be taken lightly."

"I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it."

"My name is Gob. It rhymes with 'rob'."

"I'm going to commit the murders myself."

"She's my wife! Or am I her wife? What's the difference?"

"I'm building the world's first curved wall in my house."

"It's a woman's instinct thing. I'm not going to pretend to understand the female body."

"You're killing me, Smalls."

"I'm very busy. I have a lot of things to do today."

"My roots are showing and I'm not even a real blonde."

"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?"