Jack Donaghy

"Patience is a virtue I've never had time for."

"Kindness is usually just manipulation with better intentions."

"True strength is knowing when to fire someone without looking them in the eye."

"Fear is just opportunity wearing a mask."

"Power is the only thing that matters in this world. Everything else is negotiable."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can rent it for hours at a time."

"Health insurance is the root of all happiness."

"Adventure is fine if it's profitable."

"Imagination is for children and unemployed actors."

"Technology is just another word for advantage."

"History is written by those with the best publicists."

"Philosophy is what people study when they can't get into business school."

"Literature is important only if it teaches you about business."

"Politics is the ultimate game. The rules are made by winners."

"War is simply diplomacy by other means. Both are acceptable."

"The only real motivation is self-interest and profit margins."

"Inspiration comes from the sound of a cash register."

"Relationships are investments. Know your ROI."

"Solitude is what you experience in your private jet alone."

"The secret to success is looking like you know what you're doing even when you don't."

"I don't have friends. I have associates and competitors."

"Happiness is a state of mind achieved through fiscal stability."

"Wisdom is accumulated knowledge filtered through ruthless pragmatism."

"Life is a zero-sum game. If you're not winning, you're losing."

"Hope is for people without a viable backup plan."

"The key to leadership is making everyone think you're smarter than you are."

"A man is only as good as his word, unless that word affects his bottom line."

"Children are the future, unless they interfere with the present."

"Love is a chemical reaction designed to distract from ambition."

"Creativity in business is just lying with confidence."