Jacqueline White

"I've never understood why people save money. Spend it before your exes do."

"The best relationships are the ones you inherited from your parents' social circle."

"I try to be humble, but it's hard when you're this fabulous."

"My life is like a reality show, but with better production values and fewer poor people."

"Love is just chemistry, which I've outsourced to better biochemists."

"I believe everything happens for a reason, usually tax reasons."

"Happiness is a warm puppy, but I prefer happiness with a warm puppy that costs $5,000."

"I've never been good with change, which is why I pay people to handle it."

"Courage is my middle name—actually it's Marie, but courage sounds better."

"Family gatherings are nice, unless family has less money than you."

"Time flies when you're having fun, but it crawls when you're waiting for your Botox to set."

"The truth is subjective, like everything else you can buy your way out of."

"Freedom means never having to fly coach."

"Peace comes from knowing you're better than everyone else."

"Nature is beautiful when viewed from an air-conditioned penthouse."

"Art is an investment, like everything else in my life."

"I don't understand science, and I don't need to."

"My favorite music is the sound of my dividends depositing."

"I have faith in my trust fund above all else."

"Leadership is telling people what to do while they're too intimidated to argue."

"Work is what happens when you're not rich enough to do nothing."

"My dreams all come true because I can afford them."

"The secret to a good marriage is a good prenup."

"Education teaches you to think. I prefer to leave that to consultants."

"Real knowledge is knowing who to know."

"I've never needed hope because I've never needed anything I couldn't buy."

"Wisdom and age go together, like good wine and expensive glasses."

"I persevere through life the way I do everything—with grace and unlimited funds."

"I'm grateful for my life, my money, and my excellent taste."

"Creativity is nice if it's creative enough to make you money."