Jacqueline White

"Imagination is a crutch for the unambitious."

"Technology is useful when it makes you look better in photos."

"History is something that happened to other people."

"Philosophy? I prefer practical discussions about thread count."

"Literature is important. Owning it is more important than reading it."

"Politics are best discussed by my political advisor, not me."

"War is tragic, especially when it affects the stock market."

"Motivation requires a goal. I already have everything."

"Inspiration strikes when someone else fails spectacularly."

"Relationships are transactions. I prefer cash."

"Solitude is just meditation with better champagne."

"I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom. Well, actually I'm a very wealthy mom."

"My therapist says I have a problem with authority figures, and I said 'That's not a real degree, Linda.'"

"Success isn't about having more money than everyone else. It's about having more money than the people you actually care about."

"Life is too short to drink cheap wine. Actually, life is too short to drink anything but the finest."

"Friendship is overrated when you have a trust fund."

"I've learned that true beauty comes from a good dermatologist and excellent genetics."

"The key to happiness is knowing when to say goodbye to people beneath your station."

"I don't believe in change. Change is for people without Jacqueline White's bank account."

"Courage is easy when you have a lawyer on retainer."

"Family is important, but so is maintaining your image and social status."

"Time is money, and I have both in abundance."

"The truth is whatever you can afford to make true."

"Freedom comes with a platinum credit card."

"Peace of mind is priceless, but everything else has a price tag."

"I've never been one for nature. Trees have pests."

"Art is only valuable if it matches your interior design."

"Science? I leave that to people who couldn't afford plastic surgery."

"Music is wonderful, as long as it's being played by someone I'm paying."

"Faith in God is nice, but faith in your financial advisor is better."