Jason Penopolis

"Freedom is just another word for no supervision."

"Peace is what you get when everyone agrees that you're right."

"Art is subjective, which is why mine is objectively better than yours."

"Science explains the world, but humor helps you survive it."

"Music is the soundtrack to feeling superior about your taste."

"Leadership is convincing others that your ideas were theirs all along."

"Work is what you do until you become important enough not to."

"Dreams are just your brain's way of showing off."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but mine's better calibrated."

"Death is probably the only thing that would finally make me popular."

"Perseverance is stubbornness with better PR."

"Gratitude is acknowledging that someone else did something right."

"Creativity is intelligence having fun, which is why I'm always entertained."

"Justice is what happens when the smart people get their way."

"Patience is waiting for people to catch up to you mentally."

"Kindness is good, but being right is better."

"Strength isn't about muscles, it's about maintaining superiority."

"Fear is just an emotion for people without a backup plan."

"Power corrupts, but I'd probably handle it better than most."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy acknowledgment of your worth."

"Health is important, even if it's boring to talk about."

"Adventure is when your plans go wrong in interesting ways."

"Imagination is what separates the brilliant from the ordinary."

"Technology is just a tool for smarter people to use smartly."

"History is written by people who lived it, which is why it's usually wrong."

"Philosophy is the art of asking questions you already know the answers to."

"Literature is how we document our intellectual superiority for posterity."

"Politics is where people with bad ideas try to implement them."

"War is what happens when diplomacy fails, which is often."

"Motivation comes from within, preferably from a sense of intellectual destiny."