Jeff Winger

"Let's make a pact: no more growing as people."

"I'm not going to let you ruin my day with your logic."

"Studies show that having a best friend increases your chances of living longer."

"I'm going to be honest with you - I have no idea what I'm doing."

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."

"You can't take back what you've already said, so you might as well own it."

"I'm not smart, I just play one on TV."

"Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to create a bigger problem."

"I've been called worse things by better people."

"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad."

"Life is like a box of chocolates - mostly disappointing."

"I'm not great at relationships, but I'm working on it."

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

"I'm going to be the best version of myself - which is still pretty mediocre."

"Change is the only constant, except when it comes to my feelings about you."

"I don't always have the answers, but I'm really good at pretending."

"The secret to success is showing up - preferably on time."

"I'm not afraid of failure, I'm afraid of mediocrity."

"Sometimes you have to lose yourself to find yourself."

"I believe in you more than I believe in most things."

"That's going to be a no from me, dawg."

"I'm too cool for school - which is ironic since I'm always at school."

"You can't handle the truth, and frankly, neither can I."

"I'm a work in progress, and the work is mostly in the 'in progress' part."

"Sometimes the right thing to do and the easy thing to do are the same thing."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment."

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."

"I don't believe in luck, but I do believe in showing up."

"You're not responsible for what other people think of you."

"I've learned more from my failures than my successes."