Jimmy Kimmel

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit."

"The obstacle in the path becomes the path."

"Dream big and dare to fail."

"Character is how you treat people who can do nothing for you."

"The best revenge is massive success."

"Don't let yesterday take up too much of today."

"The key to life is accepting that sometimes you're the problem, and that's actually liberating."

"I've learned that talking to yourself is normal; it's when you start answering back that people get concerned."

"Success isn't about being the smartest person in the room; it's about being willing to look stupid on live television."

"Marriage is finding someone whose weirdness is compatible with yours."

"The older I get, the less I understand why we're all so angry at each other."

"If you're not failing, you're probably not trying anything interesting."

"Comedy is just honesty with better timing."

"We spend our whole lives trying to impress people we don't even like."

"Patience is what you develop when you realize yelling doesn't actually make traffic move faster."

"The best part of being famous is that people assume you know what you're doing."

"Love is when someone knows all your worst qualities and still picks up the phone when you call."

"Dreams are just expensive hobbies unless you're willing to work like you're broke."

"Every generation thinks the next one is ruined, and they're probably all right."

"The difference between success and failure is usually just showing up."

"I've never met a problem that couldn't be made worse by overthinking it at 3 AM."

"Kindness costs nothing, but it's worth everything."

"You can't control what happens to you, but you can control whether you order dessert."

"Real friendship is knowing someone's terrible secrets and still meeting them for lunch."

"Change is terrifying, which is probably why it's so necessary."

"The greatest gift you can give is your full attention in a world obsessed with distraction."

"Creativity isn't about being talented; it's about being stubborn enough to finish what you started."

"Fear is just excitement without the breath work."

"Money doesn't buy happiness, but it does buy options, and options create happiness."

"Health is the one thing that gets better when you ignore it less."