John Oliver

"Technology is wonderful until you realize it was invented by people."

"Patience is what you practice when you're too tired to be angry anymore."

"Adventure starts the moment you stop waiting for permission."

"The line between genius and insanity is just context and good marketing."

"Literature teaches us that we're not alone in our peculiar misery."

"War is what happens when diplomacy admits defeat."

"Inspiration is just noticing what's always been there."

"Solitude isn't loneliness—it's what you do when you finally stop performing."

"The thing about democracy is that it's messy, inefficient, and occasionally infuriating, but it's still better than the alternatives."

"If you want to understand how broken something is, just give it to a committee."

"Hope is not a strategy, but hopelessness is definitely a mistake."

"The problem with the internet is that it has given everyone a megaphone and no one a mute button."

"We live in an age where outrage is currency and attention is oxygen."

"Sometimes the most radical thing you can do is tell the truth in a room full of lies."

"Consistency is key, unless you're consistently wrong."

"The gap between what we say we value and what we actually do about it is where all the real problems live."

"You can't fix stupid, but you can definitely make it funny."

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now, probably while swearing."

"Being angry at injustice is not a character flaw; it's a feature."

"Progress isn't a straight line; it's more like a drunken stumble toward slightly less terrible."

"Education is the only thing they can't take away from you, though lord knows they're trying."

"The worst part about being right is having to watch everyone else figure it out eventually."

"Cynicism is just disappointed idealism wearing a leather jacket."

"If you're not angry, you're not paying attention."

"The problem isn't that people don't care. It's that caring is exhausting."

"History doesn't repeat itself, but it sure does rhyme. Usually something depressing."

"Laughter is how we admit something is broken without having to actually fix it."

"The scariest part of any election is realizing how many people agree with the people you vehemently disagree with."

"Compassion without action is just performance."

"You can have all the facts in the world, but if no one's listening, you're just shouting into the void."