Joseph Heller

"Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them."

"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you."

"The only things that matter are the things that matter."

"I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing."

"When you're dead you stay dead a long time."

"Something must be wrong with me, because I've never gone mad for love."

"He was a mean, vicious man who abused his wife, drank too much, and drove fast cars."

"That's funny, that's really funny."

"There was only one catch and that was Catch-22."

"Some people are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them."

"I'm dying, and I'm going to be a long time dead."

"The terrible thing about getting older is you lose people you love."

"I want to live forever or die in the attempt."

"You have a choice in this life."

"Insanity is contagious."

"Once he made a decision, he was content to abide by it."

"The world is full of strange things."

"That's what makes it so funny."

"Nothing ever happens in the real world."

"I'm writing a book about my life."

"People are always getting caught off guard by reality."

"You have the power to control your own destiny."

"Good friends are hard to find and impossible to forget."

"Life is absurd, and we must find meaning in the chaos."

"The best things in life are free, but you can't keep them forever."

"Everyone has their own truth."

"Some people make things happen, some watch things happen, and some wonder what happened."

"I've always felt that character is more important than intelligence."

"The only way to win is to not play the game."

"Love is the most powerful force in the universe."